What am I thinking?

We've been having a rough go of things around here lately. Nothing really going wrong, but a definite lack of cohesiveness around here. Clara's been acting out, showing a little attitude and being argumentative, which I'm sure comes with the age, but is quite unusual for her. Jonathan has been acting out as well, which sad to say is more normal from him than not. I can typically deal with Jonathan's stubbornness, but when Clara starts in too, I easily get overwhelmed, feeling it coming at me from all sides. Any of you with kids knows, how easily kids can egg each other on. Just as you get one behaving, the other decides to see what they can get away with...and the cycle begins! With Chris gone and one on the way I've been ready to send both of the kids to their rooms for the next 4 months until Chris' return, ready to buy a Ouija board and channel June Cleaver. As I search for answers of how to regain to control, (I'm positive there was a time when I had it), panic fills my mind, "What am I thinking having a 3rd child when I can't control the 2 I have?" I assume that's what passersby are thinking every time Jonathan decides to take a stand in a store, throwing a tantrum and telling me, "No!" Quite honestly, there was a time I may have passed that same judgement on someone else, but now I stand there helpless and try to defuse the situation before I lose it and throw my own tantrum.

Jonathan has entered a new phase where he thinks it's fun to push and hit his sister. With absolutely no provocation, just to get a rise out of her, he will push her, kick her, pull on her shirt, never hard enough to hurt, just enough to be a nuisance. Clara is a willing participant, and gives him that reaction every time. In Clara's defense, she never has raised a hand back toward him, not even to defend herself...she just screams, "Stop it!" Her intent is to scream just loud enough to catch my attention and get Jonathan in trouble...as a result, they both get in trouble. I've shown her how to calmly ask him to stop and explain to him that it hurts or walk away -- even showed her how he responds favorably to that (surprisingly enough), and that I will discipline him in turn. Still, the next time, "Stoooop it, Jonathan, Stoooppppp!" They both sit in time out, he, for hitting, and she, for not watching her tone. Does it work? Nope. There's always a next time.

I thought the increase of disharmony around here was due to the long week we had last week driving into Fresno everyday for zoo camp and assumed things would get better once we had a few low key days. It took a few more than I expected. Quite possibly, because in my infinite wisdom, I decided this week would be the perfect time to try and tackle potty training Jonathan again. Bright and early Monday morning, Jonathan was sitting on the potty waiting to see what happens. We were successful at first. By 10am we had one pee-pee in the potty and big boy underwear on my little guy. By 11am, we had still just the one pee-pee in the potty and 2 in the pants, followed up by one on the floor about 30 minutes later. Back into the diaper for nap time. After his nap, 2 more on the floor. Never a care when he peed on himself or the floor, without even a hint of noticing that he had done it. We even moved our potty training outside, since he was upset that Clara was outside and he was not:

The neighbors enjoyed my futile attempt at potty training. We were most unsuccessful. We tried again Tuesday morning. After more of the same, and building frustrations, I decided it was not a good idea for me to attempt potty training Jonathan at this time. So the idea is back on the shelf for now.

As a result, the kids and I have had a couple good days Weds, and today. Everyone is well rested, getting along and for the most part - happy! We even took advantage of the beautiful weather in the evenings and went for walks, Clara on her scooter and Jonathan on his bike.

Jonathan has just finally figured out pedalling in the last few weeks since Chris left. It took him a while to decide it was more fun to go as he pleased, and not just be babied, constantly asking me to push him. Once he figured out he could do it on his own, he took off and hasn't stopped. Now when I try to help, he says, "Can you not help, Mom?"

Clara is just as tickled by how fast she's gotten on her scooter and how long she can keep it going without putting her foot down. To emphasize this skill, she often holds her 'pushing foot' as high as she can while riding on the scooter. It's hilarious, but I haven't managed to get a picture of it yet. The walks offer great quality time for just the 3 of us, and the exercise needed to tire them out so they get a good night's sleep. The other night we actually took a good 2.5 mile walk like this - the kids made it the whole way without any help from me. We all come home in a good mood, no matter the mood we were in before we left and each night they ask to go again.

I think I've found the key to happy kids: busy kids.