Matthew -- 'Gift of God'

Matthew is a week old already! It's funny to think that time has passed so quickly, especially when I stop and realize he shouldn't even be here yet! So here's his story:

Last Saturday, the 15th, I got up to get Jonathan ready for his gymnastics class. It was like any other day. I was late in my pregnancy and those last few weeks of pregnancy are never fun ones for me. Unfortunately, I'm not one of those women who loves every minute of pregnancy. The first couple months are always filled with nausea and the last month or so is always really uncomfortable. This time around I also had some serious exhaustion and lack of energy I was dealing with for all the middle months, so I was ready for this pregnancy to come to it's end. Last Saturday I just wasn't feeling right. In the couple days before, I had been extremely exhausted and my legs and feet had been pretty swollen. I had gone for a routine appointment Friday morning and all my vitals had checked out, so I had figured that was just the way I was going to finish out this pregnancy and really wished Chris was home to help pick up the slack. I took the Jonathan to gymnastics, we stopped by Target to get some things in preparation for my parents coming later in the week, grabbed some lunch, and headed home for naps all around. I had hoped to feel better when I got up from my nap -- I didn't. My tummy was cramping, I felt a little nauseous and just 'not right'. Unbelievably, even though this was my 3rd pregnancy, I've never felt a contraction, not even the braxton hicks contractions of false labor. Clara came 7 weeks early, and Jonathan, while carried full term was still born by repeat c-section, so I've never had that labor experience. Due to having 2 previous c-sections, it was a given that I'd have a c-section this time as well, and it had been scheduled for August 24th (tomorrow). Obviously Matthew had other plans.

I got the kids up from their naps as well and headed outside for them to play and for me to talk with some of the other neighbors. I expressed to them that I thought I may be having contractions, but since I'd never had one I wasn't sure. There was no clear beginning or end to the cramps I was feeling, so it was impossible to time anything. I was scared. I had been told that if I felt ANY contractions, that I was to report to the Mother Infant Unit at the hospital, so that they'd still be able to do the c-section if I was, in fact, in labor. I didn't know what I was feeling and I didn't know if I should wait it out until I knew for sure that I was feeling contractions or if I should head in to the hospital. My neighbors all watched me with worried faces and tried to explain to me what a contraction had felt like to them. After about 30 minutes of worry and uncertainty I asked if they'd mind watching my kids so I could try to head into the hospital for some answers as to what I was feeling. My neighbors told me not to worry about Clara and Jonathan and one of the neighbors drove me up the street to the hospital.

We walked up on the Mother Infant Unit at about 7pm. I explained to the nurses at the desk that I was 37 weeks into my 3rd pregnancy, with a repeat c-section scheduled for the 24th, but I thought I was having contractions and I was scared. They got me into a room and explained it was time for shift change, but that a nurse would be in ASAP to hook me up to monitors to see what was going on. It probably took about 15 minutes for a nurse to come in and start hooking me up to monitors. She wrapped the first monitor around my tummy and immediately I knew something was wrong. The nurse looked scared and I could hear that the baby's heartbeat was slower than mine typically is. The baby's heartbeat was in the 50's. It should've been in the 150's. The nurse was scared, I was scared. She walked to the door and yelled down the hall for a catheter, IV's, and for the doctors that needed to be contacted (anesthesiologist, OB, pediatrician). Within minutes, my room filled with seemingly all the nurses from the floor. She positioned me on my right side which helped speed up the baby's heartbeat a little and I was told to stay there. The anesthesiologist was the first doctor to arrive and he told me what I had already figured out...I was going to have my c-section that night. My neighbor contacted my parents in SC and I tried to contact Chris through a voicemail/email system we have set up. I wanted Chris with me more than ever.

Within 30 minutes I was wheeled into the ER. The doctors had gone through all the risks and cautions. I simply wanted them to shut up and save my baby. Just get in there and get it over with. I've been through 2 other c-sections. I knew what to expect and I didn't want to waste time because I was uncertain about what that meant for Matthew. I had 2 fantastic OB doctors assisting on this c-section, Dr. Lau and Dr. Short, and wonderful anesthesiologist and plenty of other OR auxillary nurses and such that kept me calm when Chris couldn't be there to do so. They kept me strong.

Turns out, the baby's placenta had ruptured and my uterus had separated from my previous c-sections. Dr. Lau told me when he opened me up, he could see the baby's hand through my uterus. I was bleeding heavily, which was the reason for the baby's distressed heartbeat. After about 15-20 minutes I heard him cry. Matthew Caleb Stein was born at 8:23 pm. Matthew was OK. Before long they wrapped him up, brought him around to my side of the sheet for a quick introduction and then whisked him away for some evaluation. I was worried about him, but since we'd been here before with Clara, I was sure everything would turn out alright.

However, my surgery was not over. The doctors still had to find the source of my bleeding and try to make it stop. If they could not make it stop, the result would be a full hysterectomy. They alerted me of this risk and I was fine with it. My baby was OK, and Chris and I had already planned to stop at 3 children, so my thoughts were simply that I didn't need those parts anymore anyway. Fortunately, I didn't end up needing a hysterectomy, though apparently it was close. I was in the OR for over 2 hours, and then sat in recovery under the watchful eyes of Dr. Lau and the anesthesiologist, Dr. Jacobs. That was the first time the doctors stayed in recovery with me, for my 2 previous c-sections, it was the nurses that had stayed behind. Before long they allowed my neighbor to come back and sit with me as well. She looked worried and relieved all at the same time. She explained to me how all my neighbors were praying for me and had all pitched in to help out. I am humbled by the amount of help I received.

One of my neighbors took Clara so that Clara could have a sleepover with her daughter. Clara was so excited about that that she didn't even try to hide her disappointment when we told her we'd arranged for Chris' parents to come up from Phoenix to fill in until my parents got here Weds. as scheduled. When we told her Grandma and Grandpa were coming, she said, "Why?" We explained it was so they could watch Clara and Jonathan at home, to which she replied, "You mean no more sleepovers?" I was grateful that she was having so much fun that she was oblivious to all I had gone through. Thankful for the blessings of my neighbors in keeping my kids safe and happy. Another of my neighbors slept at my house, so that my dog wouldn't be home alone and so that Jonathan would sleep in his own bed where he'd be most comfortable. She unselfishly left her kids home with her husband, so that my family could be more comfortable. I received flowers, cookies, balloons, gifts and visits from my neighbors in the next few days. My neighbors passed my kids around for the first 2 days as was convenient to them, but always in mind was what would work best for my kids. They kept their routine as well as possible and called all the family and friends that needed to be called for me. They even saw Clara off to her first day of kindergarten for me and took so many pictures so I could feel like I didn't miss it. They bought Jonathan diapers and lent us toilet paper (I was planning on doing some grocery shopping on Monday). They put together the baby's car seat (I had washed it, but not put it back together) and they rearranged the kids' car seats in the van making room for the baby's. I know there's still more things they did and I am forever grateful for it all. My neighbors were awesome. My in laws came Monday morning and took over until I came home on Tuesday night.

Matthew with Grandpa Vic

Matthew and Grandma Ginia

Matthew spent the first day or so hooked up to an IV for feeding. They had to do compressions on him for about 30 seconds in the first night and he was on oxygen for a short while that night as well. Because of all my internal bleeding, his respiration was a little quicker than it should have been. He came out of it all fairly quickly though, but was still kept under close observation to check for liver or kidney damage over the next few days. Thankfully he doesn't appear to have any. Matthew has fully lived up to his name, which means 'Gift of God'.

Chris and I had a difficult time naming this baby. Chris has been trying to get 'Caleb' since I was pregnant with Clara, but she obviously turned out to be a girl. When I was pregnant with Jonathan, Chris once again voted for 'Caleb', but I wasn't sure I loved the name. This time around I figured Chris should finally get some say, but then a friend of mine had her baby just 2 weeks prior and named him Caleb - it's a good name! So we went back and forth about whether we should still use 'Caleb' and we had both agreed we liked Matthew. Still there was a part of me that felt that maybe we were settling on 'Matthew' because we couldn't think of anything better. Now I'm sure 'Matthew' is the name he was supposed to have. After all we went through, what bigger gift could God grant me than a healthy baby boy.

Every doctor or nurse that walked into my room while we were in the hospital was in awe of how well we were doing. That not only did I still have my baby, but that he is healthy, and to top it all off, I didn't need the hysterectomy either. Dr. Lau must have asked me about 5 times what made me come in last Saturday night, because had I not come in when I did, the outcome wouldn't have been the same. He has also made it clear that under no circumstances should I try for another baby (My parents and Chris' parents have seconded that notion!)

I am humbled by God's blessings. He gave me a beautiful baby boy, wonderful neighbors to help me through this time, family and friends to support me and the strength to do it without Chris by my side. Chris finally called me about about 3am Sunday morning in response to an email that my neighbor had sent him. Not wanting to worry him with details after the fact, she had simply written him, "Congratulations, It's a boy." and included my hospital telephone number. I answered the phone and he said, "What's going on?" I said, "We have a baby, he came tonight." Chris was in disbelief and worried about all I went through. I know it has been hard for him to not be here by my side. He has called several times everyday to talk with me, and each of the 3 kids (yes, even Matthew). He called my parents and his, and spoke with the neighbors as the kids were passed around and cared for. I know it must be so difficult for him to not be here. Even after all I've been through, I would not trade places with him for anything. I actually think he has the harder part in all this. We are eagerly awaiting his arrival back home.

I'll try and post some more pics soon, but as you can see this past week has been a bit of a whirlwind. My parents are here now for a while and Clara and Jonathan are adjusting to the earlier schedule brought about by the beginning of the school year. With so many changes, it's taking a while to get into the swing of things, but we're handling it all well. Clara is the awesome big sister I knew she'd be, and even Jonathan has surprised me with nothing but love and caring for his new little brother. He even looked panicked one day when I jokingly asked Jonathan if we should give Matthew back to the doctors at the hospital, so we're off to a wonderful start!

Matthew talking to Daddy on the phone!